Insured against God?

It's a psychological condition I guess. I have to read everything that comes into my field of vision, especially if it's a boring bus trip back from London. This time it was the 'AppleCare Protection Plan' (75% discount if you are a student). Get a life you might say, but it actually paid off since encapsulated in the legal mumbo-jumbo which at times sounds like the Pañcarakṣā mantras there are some hidden gems.

If you live in the Netherlands, then: "Apple is in particular not responsible for the plan being apt for your purposes." So, if it's good for me, it's not their problem.

If you live in Italy: "Without prejudice to any other applicable legislation, Articles 1519bis - 1519-nonies [sic] of the Italian Civil Code apply to this Plan, [...]"

In Belgium, France and other Catholic countries you are entitled to 'repent' according to the Trade Practices and Consumer Protection Act of 14 July 1991. The end is truly nigh.

But this one takes the cake: "The Plan does not cover: [...] (ii) Damage to the Covered Equipment caused by accident, abuse, neglect, misuse [...], unauthorized modification, extreme environment [...], extreme physical and or electrical stress or interference, fluctuation or surges of electrical power, lightning, static electricity, fire, acts of God or other external causes;"

Hence I've decided to introduce the following scheme: should you feel uncomfortable about your computer not being insured against the whims of the Almighty, drop me a cheque of say 20 quid per annum and I guarantee I will replace your equipment, whatever it was, however much it cost, provided that you bring irrefutable evidence. After all, getting a Nobel for a lousy 17" MacBook Pro is not a bad deal. And if it's good for you, it's not my problem.