Gibberish

Hát tudd meg, ez az ember feltalálta a halandzsanyelvet. Értelmetlen szavakat kever bele a mondatba, és amikor az ember félig megőrült, hogy nem érti, öt koronát kér kölcsön." [Karinthy Frigyes - Halandzsa]

Well, be advised that this man invented a gibberish language. He mixes nonsensical words into a sentence, and when you're half out of your wits that you don't understand what he's saying, he will ask you for five quid.

What a life

mantāṇa tantāṇa ṇa kiṃ pi jāṇe

jhāṇaṃ ca ṇo kiṃ pi guruppasāā |

majjaṃ piāmo mahilaṃ ramāmo

mokkhaṃ ca jāmo kulamaggalaggā ||

[sngags dang rgyud rnams ci tsam nga mi shes |

bla ma'i byin gyis brlabs las ye shes min |

sngags ni 'thung zhing bud med dang yang rtsed |

mya ngan 'das kyang rigs kyi lam gyis rnyed||]

avi a–

[ci ste]

raṇḍā caṇḍā dikkhia dhammadārā

majjaṃ maṃsaṃ pijjae khajjae a |

bhikkhā bhojjaṃ cammakhaṇḍaṃ ca sejjā

kolo dhammo kassa ṇo bhāi rammo ||

kiṃ ca |

muktiṃ bhaṇanti HariBahmamuhā vi devā

jhāṇeṇa veapaḍhaṇeṇa kaükkiāhiṃ |

ekkeṇa kevalam Umādaïeṇa diṭṭho

mokkho samaṃ suraakelisurārasehiṃ ||

[Rājaśekhara: Karpūramañjarī]

Who's your daddy?

aiśvaryamadamatto 'si mām avajñāya vartase| 

upasthiteṣu bauddheṣu madadhīnā tava sthitiḥ||

(Udayana, Nyāyakusumāñjali)

Angry archaeologist

I must apologize in advance, some of you may find this post a bit vulgar. Nevertheless, I'm sure that many more will actually enjoy this fine piece of Hungarian cultural history.

It so happenned that during the hot summer of 1903 in an obscure corner of the Austro-Hungarian Empire some good people found a spur. Since in the legendary bureaucracy of the aforementioned empire nothing went undocumented, the find (who knows, it could have been the spur of king Attila!) was referred to the local archaelogical authorities. They were puzzled. Shunning responsability in good bureaucratical fashion the matter was forwarded to the capital. Dr Réthy (pictured on the right), eminent linguist (i.a. learned Sanskrit in Vienna!) etc., in charge at that time, gave them this kind answer:

506/1903.
Tekintetes kultúrmérnöki hivatal
Pécsett.

Tegnapi póstával érkezett 1090/1903 sz. hivatalos okiratukra,
melyben azt kérdik, hogy a Nagy-Berki község
határában lelt régi sarkantyúval mi történjék?
hivatalos tisztelettel azt válaszolom, hogy
basszák meg az urak a sarkanytyújukat, mert
35 Reaumur höségben ilyen szarságokkal
nem foglalkozhatunk.

Budapest 1903 aug 18.
Teljes tisztelettel
lófasz a seggükbe
Dr. Réthy László

m. n. muz. érem és régiségosztályi
igazg.-helyettes.

A XIV. ker. m. kir. Kulturmérnöki hivatalnak
Pécsett.


506/1903.
[To] the honourable department of cultural engineering
[In] the city of Pécs

With reference to the official document no. 1090/1903 which I received in today's mail and in which you enquire about what is to be done with the old spur found in the outskirts of Nagy-Berek, I answer with due official respect that the good gentlemen should f**k their spur, since in this heat of 35 Reaumur [= 43.75 Celsius = 110.75 Fahrenheit!] we cannot be bothered with such s**t.

Budapest 1903 August 18.
With the utmost respect,
[and wishing] a horse's c**k up your a*s
Dr. László Réthy
vice-princ[ipal]
Department of Coins and Antiquities, H[ungarian] N[ational] Mus[eum]

[To] the department of cultural engineering of the King[dom] of H[ungary], district XIV
[In] the city of Pécs

If you have ever tried working your way through Hungarian official documents the question you must be asking is: gosh, whatever went wrong?

Rubbish

I well remember a phrase of his, used not without a touch of irony significant for us librarians: "My favourite occupation is putting rubbish in order."

Cecil Bendall of Henry Bradshaw, Librarian at Cambridge [A Journey of Literary and Archaeological Reserach in Nepal and Northern Indian During the Winter of 1884-5, CUP 1886:vii]